Squashing the Newbie
by CrazyCosmoFan
Summary: I'm Brazilian and I HATE our Nickelodeon. You would hate them too if you saw how they treat poor Danneh... which is why I wrote this fic! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**HI GUYS! AND GALS!** I will not reveal my real name but you may call me Kate. Did you read the summary? Then there's not much I can comment on here. Okay... Read on... And review! I accept flames, though I can't see why someone will want to flame this story but anyway... Enough talk! Story time!

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Danny, Nickelodeon, or any other nicktoons. I do, however, own this story and the concept of Nick, and the random fangirls in chapter 2 ;-)

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Confused, dazed and surprised, Danny fell head first into soft sand. Head spinning, he looked around.

The sky above him was purple-blue, like an early evening. There were no clouds, just swirling purple mist. Around him, miles and miles of yellow sand, stretching for as far as he could see.

He was alone.

Wind was howling, blowing sand everywhere, and Danny shielded his eyes a bit too late. They were already irritated by intrusive little particles, and stung badly. He wiped them off as best as he could, and walked a few steps in no particular direction.

_Where am I?_

He couldn't remember anything. He strained his mind, but it was blank. All he remembered was falling into this nightmare. The wind pounded fiercely in every direction onto him, and he held himself tight. It was cold, and the wind made it worse. He wandered around aimlessly, which proved itself difficult since he kept sinking into the sand. He was ankle-deep when he fell over forward, and decided he couldn't go any further. He sat there on his knees for a long time, hair blowing wildly, trying to keep warm.

Then, unexpectedly, his knees sank into the sand leaving him in an awkward standing position waist-deep into the ground. And he started sinking faster and faster until he was forced to close his eyes and everything went dark.

And he was falling again.

-+-+-+-

When Danny woke up, he was lying on his back in an office. He sat up, absorbing his new surroundings. There were two glass doors, one to his left and one in front of him, slightly to his right. There was a desk in front of him, slightly to his left. Behind him was a black wooden door, and a number of black chairs next to it. There was a bookcase behind the desk. The walls and ceiling were a very light shade of gray, and the floor beneath him was made of tiles of the same shade.

The door in front of Danny opened, and a man that reminded him vaguely of Walker came in. He looked young, in his 20s. He wore an orange suit that actually looked good on him. He stared down at the teenager for a few second, then straightened himself out.

"Welcome, newbie," he said with little warmth in his voice, and even that was clearly fake. "Come with me."

Danny followed the man past the glass door he had entered through, to find himself in a movie theater place with a couple dozen seats. The man indicated him to have a seat, and then strapped him down so he was unable to move. Danny wanted to protest, but common sense kept him quiet.

"I," he said, with a strong, bossy, but oddly calming voice, "Am Nick. The guy responsible for all of what you will see now. I decide who comes and who goes. I, from now on, own you. Am I clear?"

Danny nodded.

The screen was lifted to reveal a glass panel overlooking a cafeteria with several toons doing different things. Raking the scene with his eyes, Danny spotted Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron, and the pre-teens from All Grown Up, amongst some others.

"This," said Nick, waving his hand at them, "is were our stars are. Our pride. Out of these, two nicktoons stand out the most. Spongebob and Jimmy. The bases of all our network."

All Danny could do was stare.

The theater rotated, showing a second cafeteria, this time packed with actual people, live humans.

"This, is were our live cast is. Dinho, Lucas, Peps, Drico, Fe. All the usual suspects. Over there," he motioned to a far corner, "Is the international cast. Drake, Josh, Kenan, Kel. Those people."

Once again they moved, but this time to a courtyard with hundreds, no, _thousands_ of kids.

"And this," he smiled unpleasantly, "is our audience. The voice of higher authority. What they say, _goes. _However, I have the power to say _how_ it goes. Understood?"

Once again, Danny nodded. The theater moved again. Now they were facing a much gloomier cafeteria, where every nicktoon seemed lonely and forgotten.

"This," his tone was gruff and heavy, "Is our failure room. Those who don't make it end up here. They were not cancelled because of public demand. Remember, the public says what goes, I say HOW it goes. Keep that in mind."

Danny scanned the room. In it were Jenny, invader ZIM, Yu-Gi-Oh, Yakkity Yak, and countless others. He felt nervousness creep in.

"Our tour is over. Now let's see if you've got what it takes."


	2. Chapter 2

**HELLO!** Kate here! Thank you, my oh-so-kind reviewers! This is the second (and final) chapter. Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Danny, Nickelodeon, or any other nicktoons. I DO HOWEVEROWN this story, the concept of Nick, and the random fangirls ;P

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About a dozen men were checking and prodding him all over.

Danny cringed as they measured his height and weight, took pictures and muttered quietly to one another. Nick was standing in a corner, looking very amused. The men interviewed Danny about many things, all of the questions bizarre and seemingly unimportant. They even told jokes to see how he laughed. They took notes and presented them to Nick. He checked them over, frowning, smiling, his mood changing with every page. He pushed them back at one of the workers and looked at Danny.

"Results are in."

He led Danny out of the room, and stared at him seriously.

"Is... there a problem?" Danny ventured, not sure of what to expect.

"Yes, there is. These results were compared to those of our biggest superstars, and you're _clearly_ off the tracks."

Danny blinked. _Is it bad that I'm different from Spongebob?_

"Here's the bad part," he said as if chiding on a small child, "and I'm saying this because your expression tells me you don't understand. You are too unique. Unique is BAD. All who tried to be unique here failed. We have to make you more normal, or else. You have a choice. Be yourself, and end up in the failure room. Follow my advice, and you may just scrap yourself some honor. Are you with me?"

Danny didn't answer.

"Very well. Your change begins now."

-+-+-+-

Now Danny was facing a black rotating cylinder, opening facing him. It reminded him of those special entrances to photography darkrooms. Nick pushed him in the back between his shoulders, and Danny stumbled in. Everything inside was dark and before his eyes could adjust, the cylinder rotated again and Danny was pulled out.

"What-?" he started, and cut himself off when he heard his own voice. It sounded deeper, but more unnatural.

"Like your new voice?" Nick smiled smugly.

Danny started to answer, but Nick cut him off.

"No arguing. A well-known, respected voice actor. You will easily be recognized."

"Um... what's his name?" mumbled Danny, trying to ignore the drastic change.

"Who cares? He's well-known. And that's all YOU need to know. Now... the fun has just begun."

Danny had a really bad feeling about this.

They went through a set of doors and Danny found himself face-to-face with a nerdy looking young man in a uniform. Nick got on with the introductions.

"This is your translator. He's in charge of translating everything you say into Portuguese. And that means he gets to choose what you say, up to some point. This means he can shape your cartoon style into one of our tested-and-approved styles. Spongebob and Jimmy Neutron. Of course, you'll never be identical to them. But the more similar the better. And this," Nick said, waving at a guy who had just come in, "is your publicist. He will make commercials and advertisement for you. He will create an image for you. As normal as possible."

Danny gulped. He was led to a few other departments, with a little tour of each, and then assigned a dorm room. He spent his time very lonely for days, weeks, months? He didn't know. He lost track of time.

One day a knock on the door and a messenger signaled his first real minutes in the spotlight. He wasn't very thrilled. It was a small marathon, but maybe it would pay off.

It was a fiasco.

His ratings dropped quicker than a boulder in a river, and Nick wasn't pleased.

At all.

Two months after the disaster, with a few feeble returns that quickly dropped again, Danny was called for yet another spotlight. Something called "Nick vs. Nick", whatever that was. Now, out in the bright sunlight, Danny and a few select shows were marching down a street lined up with fans. To Danny's surprise, a fangirl jumped out at him and hugged him, only to be pulled off by another girl who muttered, "Get off, that show's for 5 year olds..."

As first round of the tournament, Danny was facing Amanda, from the Amanda Show. As soon as the fight began, a wave of dizziness swept over him, vertigo causing his eyes to unfocus, and his brain felt soggy. He resisted, but it soon became too hard to fight, and he passed out.

When he woke up, he was lying on his back in an almost deserted patio staring up at Nick, his expression unreadable.

"Danny," he growled barely loud enough to hear, apathy lacing his words, "Ghost powers won't win you a tournament. Popularity will. Popularity is something you lack. There is a place for you until further notice..." he pointed to a black door. Danny got up and went inside. The other cartoons looked up at the most recent failure.

The End (?)


	3. PREVIEW

**DUDES, because you were all very nice and reviewed, I'm writing a sequel! Here's a little preview for you!**

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Somewhere in the depths of cyberspace, a group of people met. They shared one thing in common: an incredible love for a certain boy named Daniel Fenton. They were angry. VERY ANGRY. They discussed their problem fervently. Something had to be done.

One of them stepped forward, and all the others fell silent.

"I know what we could do."

There was murmuring among the present. The loner stated his idea.

"That's insane. It's never going to work!" exclaimed one of the members of the meeting.

"It is worth a try," said another, rubbing his chin.

More murmuring. Finally, they agreed. There was a chance it would work. They left, each knowing their part in the plan.

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**Looks nice so far? Well, R&R "My Ultimate Revenge" when I publish it! Peace out!**

**-Kate**


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